Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Found the puke drawer
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
