I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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