butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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