i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize