so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
