you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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