she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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