i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
