But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
