I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize