he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
