And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
