imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
