my room smells like sperm. sweet.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
