shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
