South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
