I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
