I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
