you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
