Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My pussy is not your playground.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
