I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
