before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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