pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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