How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
