Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize