Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back

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(214): View more from Texas

I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Farmville is her only friend.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

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(804): View more from Virginia

she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.

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(925): View more from California

So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever

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(205): View more from Alabama

You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"

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