One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
