so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Are we still banned from the library?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
COCAINE IS GR8
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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