then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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