I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
