I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
