Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
