i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
