Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
