I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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