Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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