you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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