felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
