fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i drank out of a bidet.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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