Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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