that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
