I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
