The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
