Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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