His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
