yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
