I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
