Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
