omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
