I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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