Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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