Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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