i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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