ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
