I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
