when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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