Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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