I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
