the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
handjob tips. give me some.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize