After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize