can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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