Ketchup is God's man juice
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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